Lavs and a Burger

This will be short and sweet.
Steve Lavin and Brent Musberger need to stop. I mean, just stop it. Right now.

The Big 11 conference tourney semi-finals are today. MSU-Wisconsin, followed by Minnesota-Illinois. That means more S & M (Steve and Mus) yukking it up courtside at Conseco together.
Musberger, in the 80's, was a STUD. He did a ton of great NBA games. Lavin knows his stuff. I just think his hair product and affinity for inane nicknames gets in the way of the game, and both guys simply have no use for pronouncing names correctly (or even the same way the other guy does). With the guys at the mike, their banter is a bit tough to take sometimes, and I think I can write the script for both games.

In Game 1, there will be roughly 17 references to Brian Butch calling him a "Polar Bear", more than a few conversations about Drew Neitzel's toughness, Drew Naymick will be called "Big Red", at least 3 references to how one of these teams is going to try to "knock out the Cinderella team coming from the 2nd semi-final game", they will certainly talk about how "Bo Ryan gets the most out of his players", and Lavin will somehow talk about UCLA at least twice. Let's hope they somehow work in a U.P.-Izzo talk (Did you know Izzo and Mariucci are friends?)

Oh, and you can bet the ranch that Ohio State's bubble profile will be worked into the conversation. I'm just glad OSU isn't playing today so S & M can't butcher Kosta Koufos's name anymore, and I don't have to hear Lavin refer to the "O-Hawk" again.

The second game will show Blake Hofberger's high school shot while he was on his back at least twice, with the potential of a "kooky" shootaround re-enactment of both shots, possibly involving his Minnesota teammates and/or Erin Andrews. Definitely some tounge-bathing from S & M on how great Tubby and Bruce Weber are (and they are, I agree). They'll be tired, so a second-half conversation will take place discussing either a trip to Las Vegas, In & Out Burger, or Lavin's hair, or some combo of all 3. Also, there will definitely be some awkward flirting with Erin Andrews.

What won't be talked about (but should be) are the following--Kelvin Sampson, is Eric Gordon ready for the NBA, how the heck Illinois finished behind Penn State in the Big Mediocre this year, if Northwestern will ever finish in the top 4 of the league standings or ever make the NCAA Tourney (they never have, you can look that up), why the center floor design was created to look like a logo from the 1972 World's Fair, and if any Big Ten team will be playing on the 2nd weekend of the tournament.