Yikes

I know, two in one day, right?
I gotta do it--it's halftime of the SUCKFEST AT THE Q, also known as Game 6 of the Celtics-Cavs series. Holy. Crap.

I don't want to hear Doris Burke talk about how "hard the teams are guarding each other". That makes absolutely no sense. Either you guard someone, or you don't. There are no levels of difficulty involved. And now that I think about it, I don't think I want to hear her say anything anymore. The half was terrible. BronBron tried to dribble through 5 guys on every play. Sczerbiak needs to just stop playing. Dead Ben Wallace is an absolute negative on offense. Also, what's up with him not being in the arena during introductions? I didn't know that fireworks affected people with inner ear infections. Apparently that inner ear infection also affects his ability to make a shot from outside of 6 feet, or your ability to sign ludicrously fat checks. Wanna know how much money Ben Wallace made this year? 15,500,000 dollars. Wow. There are only 16 players in the NBA who make more money than Ben Wallace. Let that little stat wash over your brain.

Amazingly enough, the Cavs discovered they had this big dude named Ilgauskus who can make a 15-footer. I have zero idea why Mike Brown continues to involve Dead Ben Wallace or Sideshow Bob in screen-rolls with BronBron. The Z-Man needs to be in every one of those screen-rolls. Also, I'm not sure who is less athletic at this point in their career; Wally Sczezzzczerbiak, Ray Allen, or me. Sxzcerbiak took a shot that caused the play by play guy to audibly gasp, followed by a mild guffaw.

And I forgot to add Damon Jones to my hate list earlier this week. He couldn't possibly suck any more. He had played exactly 0 minutes, 0 seconds in the first 5 games of this series, which is precisely how much he should play. Since the Cavs are Boobie-less tonite, they foisted Damon upon us to begin the second quarter. He managed to squeeze off 2 shots within the first 57 seconds of the quarter. Not surprisingly, neither went in. Also not suprisingly, after one of the assistant coaches told Mike Brown that Damon Jones was playing in an elimination game, Jones was seen sulking at the far end of the bench during the second quarter. Without looking it up, guess how much money Damon Jones made this year. I'm going to tell you, but you have to promise to not get angry. Promise? Okay, here goes----4,172,372 American Dollars. You said you wouldn't get angry. Stop swearing. I won't do it again. And no, those shouldn't be decimal points--the commas are placed correctly. Cram Max, Afflallo and Stuckey combined to make 3,555,480.

Also, I continue to be amazed at how the Celtics have absolutely no rotation ideas whatsoever. Cassell goes from big minutes to none. Glen "Big Double Chin Baby" Davis played more than James Posey. Garnett made 6 first half FG, rest of team 8 FG.