RAFFLE 2008 Travershamockery V. 1

Alrighty, let the overly insane amount of ridiculous things being said about the RAFFLE begin!!

Here's my first mock draft, following the draft order getting set last weekend. The selections below are based largely on speculation, happenstance, rumor and innuendo, or the same set of facts that practically every gel-hair uses on the Fox Sports fantasy football show.

1-Trevor. Last year's playoff shocker, the boys return to find themselves with the top spot of the draft. Here's hoping Torres can find his way to the draft on time to make his selection...which I believe will be LADANIAN TOMLINSON.

2-Justin. The Snitches overcame a Shawn Alexander first-round selection last year by going Moss-Peterson with their next 2 picks. I think that Justin still has a chub for ADRIAN PETERSON and will take him with the 2nd overall pick.

3.-Al-abama. Last year's dominant team rolled to the RAFFLE '07 crown, then selected this slot to begin the drafting selection. His reasoning is so he does not have to make the "Tom Brady Decision", but if the above two picks go down that way, then Dreamy Tom is sitting on the table.
However, Al has made no secret for his full-on pocket rocket for BRIAN WESTBROOK, who I believe Al will be selecting with this pick....

4.-Nate....leaving TOM BRADY staring Natron in the face.

5.-Timmy. Allendale's newest student-bodyslammer has some morning wood for Brady, and there is no way Brady gets past this pick. However, with Brady away, Tim should look toward JOSEPH ADDAI with this selection.

6.-BB. Leaving me with MARIAN BARBER. I kind of want to take him simply so I can say "Marian the Barbarian" roughly 4,109 times before I trade him prior to Week 5.

7.-Andy. I believe this is where the draft gets really interesting. There are a number of RB's available with minor questions along with multiple QB options. I have the Hammer taking STEVEN JACKSON with this pick.

8.-Helly. Jason has made it absolutely clear since his Seagulls went in the toilet last year that he has a awkward 7th-grade, I-cant-control-what's-happening, put-your-textbook-over-it Ron LeFlore for a first-round QB. In this scenario, he can select PEYTON MANNING, start chanting "Cut That Meat!", then remember no team which selected a QB in the first round of the RAFFLE has ever made the playoffs.

9.-Skot. I see this guy polishing off 2 cheesewurst after winning the pre-draft golf scramble, then taking FRANK GORE, followed by drinking the strongest mixed drink in Muskegon County. And that's exactly what I like about this guy!

10.-Josh. He pulled the Peyton Manning trigger in the first round last year, and was rewarded with the worst record in the league. Josh is a lot smarter than me and should learn from that mistake. I've got him trying to take a chance on LARRY JOHNSON, who missed half the season last year but still put up some good numbers.

11.-BPRUWITME. The league's newest fiancee has usually selected based on the "Best NFC North Player Available" factor. Using that theory, well quite frankly I have zero idea who he would draft right here. We'll say he goes outside the division and takes CLINTON PORTIS, especially with Ladell Betts at less than 100% and a new coach in place in Washington.

12.-Dave. Moorland's favorite son finished fourth in the league last year, but chose to pick at the rear-end of the draft, which seems exactly right for him. I see him beginning what should be a very interesting second round by going with a TONY ROMO-TERRELL OWENS poo poo platter to end the first round and begin the second.